This is important, folks. DO NOT BUY TURKEY BACON.
As you probably know, one of the reasons I love weekends is because I get to eat bacon. I love bacon. I feel bacon. Bacon is……everything good.
So, as usual, I was looking forward to getting some this weekend. I heard my mom say “Hey, let’s cook up some of that turkey bacon we got on sale last weekend” (they’re trying to eat healthier food). Okay, anything with the word “bacon” in it has to be good, right? WRONG.
Turkey bacon is nasty. I know, because my mom and dad gave me lots and lots of it today. It does not resemble real bacon in any plausible way. It tasted like funky turkey and plastic rolled into one.
You may be asking: “So, why did you eat it if it’s so bad?” Remember, I eat garbage (see earlier post). This was garbage.
Thankfully, after I was groomed I got some decent treats. Here is a picture of me getting brushed:
It’s important for me to look my best. And I want to look spiffy for my coming visitors! I just hope Mom doesn’t decide I need a (dare I say it) ba……no, I can’t bring myself to bark the word.
Anyway, stay away from turkey bacon. The world would be a better place without it.
I love you!