My mom loves watching Top Chef on TV. She doesn’t cook any of their dishes, but she enjoys the program.
I consider myself to have a refined sense of taste and enjoy fine dining. In recent memory I often sampled a wide variety of beer, cheese, garbage and, of course, bacon. All that is gone.
Time to move on. Today, while Mom was giving a piano lesson, I took advantage of her preoccupation and pounced on this delicious delicacy:
Yeah, it’s a dishrag. I ate half of it. Before you judge, keep in mind that I’m a bacon junkie going through cold turkey withdrawal.
Actually, this is nothing new. When I had unlimited access to the basement I’d eat cloth all the time. I’d eat shirts, pants, whatever. Mom and Dad used to think there was something wrong with the dryer, and they took the whole thing apart trying to figure out why their clothing was shredded and had holes in it. Hah!!! It was me – the joke’s on you!
Uh 0h…..I’ve gotta go outside right now. I mean RIGHT now. OMG. This ain’t gonna be pretty.
Watch what you’re eating – I love you!