Bite Me

I’ve been throwing up a bit more lately. Can you blame me? First of all, the Ryan/Romney ticket is gaining in the polls. Why would old people in Florida vote for candidates who want to destroy Social Security and Medicare? I guess they figure “I got mine, screw you, young people” (anybody under 55).

Or maybe it’s because the administration didn’t heed warnings about security issues in Libya. Oh, kind of like when George W. ignored warnings about terrorists using airplanes to attack U.S. buildings, so then he invaded the wrong country and drove us into astronomical debt, but THAT was patriotic. Bite me, Romney.

No, I’m throwing up because my White Sox missed getting into the World Series by two games. If they would’ve won two games against Detroit, we’d be watching them on free TV. Bite me, Detroit. It’s time to change the banner. Which one should I choose?

You know the Bears won:

I’m getting tired of my fluid treatments. The other day I pretended to bite my mom when she injected me. But what’s that saying – never bite the hand that feeds you:

Speaking of being fed, we have a crisis going on. I am completely, totally out of food. Really. Mom & Dad went on a cruise up to the metropolis known as Olean and left me with no provisions. Mercifully, they brought back a hunk of turkey which is being baked as we speak. Let’s check the temp:

Yikes!! Only 100 degrees, and I need to be fed in two hours!!! Maybe salmonella will get me before my liver or kidney failure.

Finally, I need to check out the makings for Olive’s Christmas princess dress. My mom said she was going to sew her a new pink dress:

Oh my. Unless my eyes have started to fail, I do believe this fabric is purple. Courtney – Mike – can you sell purple to Olive? If not, bite me.

I love you!


About minniekamper

I am the world's best dog. I was born November 23, 1996 and I went to live with the world's luckiest family on February 1, 1997. I love bacon.
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3 Responses to Bite Me

  1. Lori says:

    Hey Min, I don’t have any hockey to be obsessed with, I mean watch, I’m going to help you cheer for da Bears. After all, Ohio football is a waste of time unless you’re a fan of a certain college team. (Don’t ask me which one though. It is the team who shall not be named.) Can hardly wait to meet the rest of your family!

    • minniekamper says:

      It’s so nice to hear from you! It cheers me up when I get comments from my adoring family & friends. I’m happy to hear you’ll join me in rooting for Da Bears – they need all the help they can get. I hope the team which shall not be named gets what they deserve!

  2. Courtney says:

    Minn, Olive LOVES purple. It’s her second favorite color! Also, I was so excited this year, because I wanted to finally get you a Black Hawks banner (which you desperately need) but, naturally, no hockey! So if it helps, I can appreciate the frustration of not getting to see your team play (as well as the frustration of watching them play badly, but that’s a separate complaint!). I hope you got fed!

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